Happy birthday in the Pacific Time Zone.
The first thing the topic title brought to mind was how Owl wrote Eeyore's birthday card: "HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY".
I got you a balloon, but...
BANG!!!? ??***!!!
(And you forgot to mention the best present I got you--a genuine expando-whammo pirate! Not everyone has one of those!)
I sleep now.