Christmas holds a whole smorgasbord of feelings and meanings for me. Growing up, the best part of the holiday was a combination of the good food, some of which we only ate this time of year, the movies and TV specials that we saw only this time of year, and of course the presents. It was full of excitement, and seeing the very first decorations and hearing the very first Christmas song would be exciting because we knew Christmas was coming! We'd get to eat a lot of yummy food that we haven't eaten for a whole year, watch specials we haven't seen for a whole year, and we'll be getting new toys! As I got older, I also learned to appreciate spending time with family and also shopping for my loved ones. And other things started reminding me that Christmas was coming and I'd be filled with that nostalgic excitement. Like when daylight savings time ends. For many years, that first night of the sun setting "sooooo early!" would just fill me with the Christmas spirit. I loved it!
But then I grew up, and although I still love Christmas, I can't seem to catch the spirit of it anymore. It's become too commercialized. The decorations are appearing sooner and sooner every year it seems. And so is the Christmas music. It gets old really fast. So it's just lost a lot of its magic to me.
Doesn't help that I've worked in retail the last 10 years, and it's the busiest and most stressful time of year for us. I dread that part. It also doesn't help when I get gifts for people, honestly thinking they're going to love them, and excited about getting it. And then they either hate them or just never use them, and I feel like I not only wasted my money buying them the gift, but they don't appreciate me for just trying to be thoughtful. I know it's to be expected sometimes, but after so many times I have a tendency to let it affect me. So I don't even enjoy shopping for my loved ones as much anymore. So basically, over the last decade or so, though I still love the holiday, and the music, and the decorations, and the TV specials, and the presents, and finding that one perfect gift that the receiver actually loves, the holiday has become somewhat ho-hum to me. I wish it hadn't. But I just can't find a way around it.
