I'm beginning to wonder if Partymember and myself aren't related, like siblings separated at birth or something, given our mutual affection for guns, hunting, creepy-crawlies and other critters often feared by the public, and now the revelation that we share the at least one of the same fears: dying alone, unwanted. At my age, that's really beginning to bother me. I've always valued my independence, having grown up in a very strict family with a genuine control freak for a mother, but now, having seem many of my family members grow old and die, the one thing that they had to draw comfort from was having someone by their sides when it was time. In most cases, that someone was a now-adult son or daughter, or a granddaughter. That seemed to be the greatest comfort that they could have. I don't have kids, so that means no grandkids, either. I'm not married. Only one of my siblings does have kids, my sister, and we are not close at all. Her husband really dislikes all of our family and has done a very effective job in putting distance between her and the rest of us, with the exception of my father, whom they both use and take advantage of, using his own granddaughters as pawns. My brother is only a few years younger than me, has a lot more health issues, and is unable to even care for or provide for himself due to the effects of his autism, so he has to live with my father. I've witnessed the horrors of our government-run care facilities for the elderly, and quite frankly, I'd rather be put down like an old dog than to have to endure that in my final months or years. MOST nursing homes, like Madame Foster said, treat old people like so much inventory, not like people, and do whatever is needed to keep the inmates, uh, I mean residents, quiet so that they're as little trouble as possible. These strangers still cannot take the place of a beloved family member when that inevitable time comes.
The only other thing that scares me is storms, though I'm not as bad as I used to be, in the years following Hurricane Hugo. I actually suffered from PTSD after waiting out that awful storm alone, 35 miles from the coast, in 1989. I still don't like high winds, or lightning, though it's more out of concern for my house, my animals and other personal belongings that of my own safety.
pitbulllady
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