Need some help...:'( seriously

[Mr. Marshmallow]

I realize this may be inappropriate for this board to talk about this but in honesty, I'm really scared now with what's in my head and I don't know what else to do except to ask opinions and everyone has been so nice and helpful to me I felt you could be trusted to maybe help me.

I was looking up stuff on wiki today and to make a long story short, I found out that "fetishes" have treatments appaarently when it comes to psychologists. I like a particular one and to hear that "treatment" exists implies a type of cure, meaning something is wrong and needs to be fixed.

I'm not even kidding in the slightest bit when I say i am scared to think something is mentally wrong with me because I like this fetish. I won't go into details about it knowing this forum but I have to know what others think, do you think having a fetish makes you insane or translates to:get therapy?

I wanted to know your guys opinion because I've felt more welcome here then at any other board and I really am sorry if i have crossed any lines by making this thread and I ask you please don't ban me, I just really wanted some opinions as well since I'm still kinda freaked out about it.

Bare in mind I am not asking anyone to say anything perverse, sexual, or things of such nature that are obviously inappropriate, I am simply asking people's opinions on a specific view of a subject.

EDIT

if you wish to close this thread then feel free to and I offer up my sincerest apologies, I was simply freaked out and was asking for advice is all.

[Sparky]

I guess as long as you're comfortable with members and non-members alike reading about this then perhaps this topic can stay. We'll just have to see how it pans out. We definitely don't like "woe-is-me" type topics, but that's not quite what this is.

Although I identify as asexual (meaning I am not sexually attracted to either males or females and have no desire to experience sexual contact), I do have two fetishes, if you take the definition of fetish as an obsession that imparts a sort of...pleasant feeling? Without necessarily being explicitly sexual. A lot of people tell me my fetishes are not "real" fetishes because I don't desire sex, but it is a sort of gratification certainly akin to it. Let's just say that if I was *not* asexual, they *would* be sexual fetishes.

Now, this may be *because* I am asexual, but my two fetishes make me very happy. They give me pleasure. I have NO desire to be rid of them. Ever. They don't hurt anyone, and I'm no pervert. No I won't tell anyone what they are. :terrsmile: That's just not necessary. I just wanted you to know, Mr M, that I hear you, whether or not you think my situation is the same as yours. But I can say that there are people out there who think that there's something "wrong" with me because I don't desire sex, despite the fact that it occurs in other species and no one disputes that.

Everything can be "treated" by psychologists. If you like the color orange, a psychologist can make you dislike it. Does that mean there's something "wrong" with you, because there's something about you a psychologist can change? If your answer to that is no, then why should it be yes in regards to a fetish, or a sexual orientation?

[Mr. Marshmallow]

My intent is not to make a pity party on my soul if that's what you mean. The reason for this thread was to express a genuine issue that is currently concerning me and I wanted opinions on. I don't want people to make me feel better or lie to me saying things simply to make me feel better about the issue.

I became interested in the study of fetishes during college when i took a human sexual psychology course and learned a lot about the different kind of fetishes (again I am NOT listing them NOR am i suggesting anyone should). My thing was the fact someone mentioned treatment near fetishes scared me because it was an indication that "it was wrong".

My fetish does also not desire or involve sex, but I was upset to learn that someone could say you can be treated from it. Again i am not going to say what my fetish is and I am not invocating the notion that i want people to talk about fantasies or anything like that, I want that to be VERY CLEAR.

My question was being of someone who is found in a personally related question, would someone be considered crazy for having a fetish? That's my point and I was curious because I have a fetish and naturally, no one else really talks about this kind of thing so how is someone to know if it's something people treat as social alienation or "mental defect"?

I feel loads better just reading sparky's comment alone and like I imagined, talking about this with people I feel "good" around makes me lots better about it. I am sorry if finding out this information about me troubles you or you look at me differently.

I simply wanted advice and I hope none of you will look at me in a different or at least a negative light now that you know this.

[Sparky]

Do you belong to any online communities for your fetish? I belong to several (I also attend local meetups and gatherings), and of course this topic is discussed all the time. Discussing it with other fetishists might make you feel better, some of them are older and wiser and can give you a new perspective. ;)

[Mr. Marshmallow]

Do you belong to any online communities for your fetish? I belong to several (I also attend local meetups and gatherings), and of course this topic is discussed all the time. Discussing it with other fetishists might make you feel better, some of them are older and wiser and can give you a new perspective. ;)

I do actually and it's weird, sometimes I can go to them about this and sometimes i cannot. I find myself inclined to go since I mostly encounter "extremists" of the fetish that end up spooking me out.

I'm really sorry if this "damaged" your image of me Sparky or about you mentioning yours. I do appreciate it though.

[Sparky]

Lol no offense but I didn't really have an "image" of you, so no worries. 8D And if this wasn't a children's-show-oriented forum I'd talk about these things more. I'm open about them elsewhere, come to DA sometime. ;)

In any case you can always come to me in the future if you want to discuss the subject. I dunno if anyone else is going to come forward; plus I still dunno if this topic will survive. My staff is free to tell me if they think it should be closed, I won't mind.

[Mr. Marshmallow]

I just meant by image is that how some people see others and I always like to cover all bases, even if you didn't have a specific image of me. Like I said, I understand and accept this thread's closing if need be or feels the need to. I just wanted some advice on something.

The smallest response made a difference in this problem for me and just hearing someone talking to me about it makes me feel a hell of a lot better. So don't worry, this meant more then you realize.

[koosie]

Well I can't add much more to what Sparky's already said except that for everything you do theres somebody somewhere who'll disapprove. As long as no-one gets hurt or exploited a fetish is a nice thing and even those are not absolutes; some people like being hurt and exploitation is part of living, really.

I must have as many fetishes as irrational hang-ups. There's one which dosn't even have a website, let alone a forum or support group and if I knew why this thing made me feel so damn pleasant, I'd probably know loads about what makes humans tick.

In my experience people who claim to able to 'cure' things are often very sick inside themselves.

You're ok by me, Mr M and that goes for ALL of you out there.

[Medikor]

I agree completely with what Sparky and Koosie said. Just remember that you're or friend and always will be, Mr.M.

[x_dummkoff_x]

yeah, there's nothing to worry about.
I have a few myself.
EVERYBODY has got to have at least ONE.

[Cassini90125]

I agree wholeheartedly. Whatever's troubling you we're here if you need us, even if all we can offer is a sympathetic ear. :)

[Partymember]

dude, they used to "cure" pagans by burning them alive.

Western Medicine is criminally overrated.

Keep it legal and your golden.

[Mr. Marshmallow]

That's what I really needed, was an honest ear. I've never quite understood how I ended up with this fetish but I do and I was scared so badly I just had to say something. I know how people can react when it comes to something like fetishes, most people despise them and see them as signs of insanity.

That was why I was worried, I know how people react to these kind of things and wanted to know if you guys felt the same way towards them. I really do feel a lot better telling you guys above others. Your advice has really helped me come to terms with what I like and not to "deny it" or think it's wrong.

[jekylljuice]

I've got to lend my support to what everyone else is saying here, Mr. M - fetishes are a perfectly normal and healthy aspect of living. You'll probably find that whatever negative remarks you hear being tossed around in their direction stem from their pertaining to an issue over which several people have some pretty extreme ideas as to what is socially acceptable and what isn't. But remember there is often a BIG difference between the impressions people strive to maintain of themselves and their actions when in public, and how they actually do act when they think no one's looking - I've generally found human beings to be a pretty insincere bunch.